seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
