I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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