Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
