If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
