You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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