I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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