Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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