Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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