Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
