I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
