You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
