i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
