My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
