We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
