I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
