I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
