i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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