dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
