Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
