ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
