Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
