He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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