his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
