So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
