i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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