Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
