Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
