Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Mom said you looked used
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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