You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
