and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
