ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
