I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
