i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
