nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
