oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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