just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
