the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
