Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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