Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
