she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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