And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have aggressive nipples.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
