i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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