Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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