WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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