He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
