Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
