I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
