ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
