Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
