hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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