Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
